I help high-achieving idealists stop spinning their wheels performing for others and start doing what they were meant to do.
We are our best when we can listen to our inner voice.
But most of us weren’t taught how to listen to ourselves. In fact, we were taught to override our intuition and gut sense.
I help people reconnect to themselves so they can access their clarity and confidence.
Especially people who tend to think of everyone around them first.
After working together, clients consistently ask why they weren’t taught how to do this sooner.
It’s such a fundamental skill to be able to connect to ourselves and learn how to navigate our inner world. But that isn’t what’s fostered.
Friends and family offer advice, but it always comes from their lens of what works for them.
Talk therapists will ask questions and give breath calming exercises, but don’t always know how to guide you deeper.
Meanwhile, when we were young we were expected to figure out what other people wanted… teachers, parents, coaches, and then later managers, coworkers, executives. The focus has been how to give them what they want, regardless of who we are.
So you can have a hunch, but it can be hard to listen to yourself.
And yet, your gut is right, despite all the facts, trends, expert opinions. Your gut knows what’s right for you.
When you try to approach your life in a way that’s not you, it just doesn’t work. It’s like wearing someone else’s clothes — even if you can fake it for a while — it just doesn’t fit right, it’s not your style and is incredibly distracting.
Over the years, I have learned several approaches that help people connect back to themselves. If this work resonates, I would love to share them with you!
Current Offerings
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Should I stay or go?
Maybe you’re thinking of quitting a job, ending a friendship or partnership, or changing your living situation.
I can help you untangle these questions and get clarity
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Just can't get it right with my boss
Does anxiety around your boss interfere with your work and daily life? When there is a breakdown in this relationship, it can dominate our headspace.
I can help you rebuild trust with yourself and change the dynamic.
If you need some general support, let’s walk it out, whatever it is.
Walk-it-Out Session
My low-fee option!
We will talk on the phone while we’re both walking/moving. I’ll be strolling around my neighborhood, and you can be anywhere that you can get your heart pumping. Sometimes literally moving is an important ingredient when we’re figuratively stuck. You bring a question or situation and we will work on it for the entire time. I will be listening deeply, asking questions and inviting you into looking at your situation from new angles. These sessions are intended to leave you energized with a new perspective.
Time: 45 mins
Cost: $35
How is this different from therapy?
Great question! I use a lot of therapeutic approaches in my work. And working with some therapists (e.g. those who practice using somatic experiencing or IFS) might feel a lot like working with me.
And I have worked with clients who immediately see more shifts working with me than they did in years of talk therapy. Talk therapy can help us know our patterns. But you can know your patterns, and see them happening in the moment, but still repeat them. Instead, I use approaches that I have seen reliably get to the heart of what is going on and actually repair it.
I also will not be analyzing you. If you report having anxiety, for example, in a particular situation, we will work with it, but I won’t be diagnosing you.
My approach
I work with approaches that support your ability to be clear on what you need. I’m not here to tell you what’s best for you, but to help you unwind from all the noise around whatever it is you’re working on.
I trust that connecting to truth (not what we think the truth should be) is healing and can untangle a lot of things in life. I also know this can be confronting and requires a lot of safety. Once we are safe enough to explore, the clarity is so settling and liberating! My goal is to provide a space that is both safe and honest.
We would be a good fit if…
You tend to be a high achiever.
You put a lot of heart into your work. You’re an idealist, and you care about doing good work and supporting those around you.
You have an intuitive sense for what people around you are needing, but don’t always know what you need
“I resonated with the framework immensely. It felt like all the messy convos I had with myself in the past 30+ years suddenly found a structure, and more importantly a reason.
This helps me start my journey to start listening more attentively to [myself] and build that trust and grounding. It also made me more conscious of the next couple of years are critical for me to work with my 5.5 year old.”
— Helen
“Originally, I thought working with a "coach" meant someone helping me identify and organize goals. I held back from reaching out because I was afraid to confront difficult feelings and past emotions.
It felt too overwhelming feeling deep emotions, and actually talking about it with another person caused extreme anxiety/made me feel very unsafe/uncomfortable.
I finally reached out when I had reached an all-time-low and was willing to try anything and everything to feel "normal."
The most positive outcomes I've experienced is actually being able to identify and hold space for my feelings now. I feel a better sense of self and hopefulness that I'm "exactly where I need to be." I'm able to better express and understand myself. I'm also able to feel more deeply without feeling helpless or confused.
I no longer feel constant resentment, shame, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness. I am happy with myself and am excited the future and to continue growing. I can finally find comfort in strength in myself.
I think it's very difficult but also extremely rewarding. I'm glad it's more emotion-based than I originally thought. I look forward to each session. I feel and see the improvement in myself, and I also understand it's an on-going non-linear process. Having Cara really helps me navigate through the difficult/confusing emotions.”
— Jessa L.
“Cara helped me develop a greater sense of self awareness of my emotional state, particularly "in the moment"
…that helped me channel/address my emotional state in a more proactive way. (vs stewing on it, unaware of the source or how to process)..”
— Tim H.
“Moving to a new city and establishing my roots brought up a lot of conscious and unconscious reflections from my childhood. Cara's coaching helped me to unlock some of the roles that I had felt shame and blame around. She compassionately coached me to take a step back and put words and understanding to a lot of the anxious and judgmental feelings I was experiencing.”